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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24570061">Always Here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/simsadventures/pseuds/simsadventures'>simsadventures</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Smut, Swearing, Weight Issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 07:06:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24570061</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/simsadventures/pseuds/simsadventures</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You have an obvious crush on Bucky, and kind of hope he feels the same. But when you overhear agents talking about you, and then even Bucky, you realise there is no hope for you. At least you think there isn’t.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>183</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Always Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sitting on the couch, you scooted a little closer to Bucky so that Sam could sit on the other side of the sofa. It was nothing surprising, considering you and Bucky were almost joined to the hip. To say you had a crush on Bucky would be an understatement of the year. When you first met him, you were one of the few people who actually listen to him and who made him feel like he wasn’t only an assassin, but that he was a human being first and foremost. <br/>	 Ever since Steve brought him to the compound, you tried to make sure he felt welcomed and even fought Tony on more than one occasion when he tried to start something with Bucky. What began as simply you being a nice human being and just overall friendly ended up with you helplessly in love with the super-soldier. </p>
<p> Even though you didn’t want to tell Bucky, because you were sure he would never feel the same towards you, you couldn’t help yourself but try and seek his closeness. So every time there was a mission where you both were, you kinda naturally sat down next to him on the jet, you fought by his side, and you were the one to tend to his injuries. <br/>	 Natasha saw right through you and told you to do something with it, but you couldn’t. At least this way, he was your friend, but what would happen if you ambushed him with your own feelings, only to leave it awkward because he never thought of you more than friends. If you were lucky, he thought of you as one of his closest friends. But that was it. <br/>	 You closed off your heart and tried not to think of the pain it caused you every time you saw him flirt with anybody but you. He never flirted with you. You were simply Y/N, the one person he could always count on, but the only that would never feel his love, even if only for one night. </p>
<p> You were deep in your mind, walking towards the shared kitchen in the morning to look for some coffee because you were beat when you heard your name from the mouth of one of the lower-ranked agents present in the compound. <br/>	 You stopped in your tracks, not even letting yourself breathe, and listen to what they had to say about you. <br/>	 “I mean, have you seen those thighs? Man! Her one leg is like my both, or even all our legs together, it’s actually hilarious! And the way her velcro suit clings to her! To think she would actually consider herself pretty is just hilarious, really,” one of them said, and tears welled up in your eyes. </p>
<p> You knew your legs weren’t the thinnest in the world, but you never thought people would be disgusted by them. You considered leaving for your room, but you couldn’t help yourself to listen more what else it was that was so disgusting about you. <br/>	 “I know,” the other one laughed, “and her belly? One would fucking think the way she has to be on the move and is on missions that her belly wouldn’t be noticeable. I mean, only imagine how it must look when she’s naked. God, she just looks like an ugly animal, I can’t help myself. God! And have you noticed the way she always clings to Bucky? As if he ever turned for her,” she snickered, and you couldn’t take anymore. </p>
<p> You turned on your heels and sprinted back to your room, tears running down your face. Not that you thought you were Miss World or something, but you also never thought people would be so grossed out by you that they’d talk shit behind your back. Especially people that you should count on in the mission. <br/>	 But a part of you was telling you they were right. Especially with that part with Bucky. You were stupid to think, no, hope, that he would ever notice you as anything more than the girl that is always around. You laid down in your bed and just cried your eyes out, unable to stop yourself. The only thing you managed was to ask FRIDAY to tell Natasha that you weren’t feeling well and that you wouldn’t join her for the training today. You cried yourself to sleep, but even when you woke up, your heart didn’t feel any better. </p>
<p>—-<br/>	 It took you a few days to get over the conversation you overheard. Not that you weren’t thinking about their harsh words, but at least you didn’t cry every time you thought of it. That was a victory for you. You started training again, much harder than before, trying to concentrate on your leg and thighs to make them a little more agreeable, but you weren’t sure it’d work. After all, you were kinda born like this, and you thought that the only thing to get rid of them would be to cut them off. </p>
<p> Once again, you were walking towards the kitchen, this time to make yourself something quick for lunch, when you heard Bucky’s voice coming out of the room. You contemplated whether to go in or not, you heard Steve, who was there as well, say your name, and you felt dizzy. Why the hell did people have the need to talk about you in the fucking kitchen where anybody, even you, could come in any minute? </p>
<p> “Look, punk, all I’m saying is that Y/N is a nice girl, nothing else,” Steve said defensively, and you almost couldn’t hear Bucky’s response for the loud thumping of your heart in your ears. </p>
<p> “I’m not saying she isn’t, Stevie, it’s just that, she’s always there, you know? I can’t fucking concentrate when she is near me, and she is always near me. It’s like she tries to kill me with her presence, you know? It’s just, all too much,” Bucky added, and you had to fight a sob leaving your body. <br/>	 Wow, you thought as you turned around and silently walked out of there. So not only did people think you were fat and ugly, the person you cared about the most thought you were too clingy, and he didn’t want you around. That was just…<em> awesome</em>. </p>
<p> You locked your door behind yourself, but instead of laying down and crying, you just stared out of the window. The tears wouldn’t come. You felt numb and hollow. You thought the people in the building were your family, your friends, but you were obviously wrong. You scoffed as you continued to stare at the raining falling down from the heavy clouds thinking that it was ironic that it hasn’t rained in weeks, but when your heart finally broke, it’s pouring outside. Talk about coincidences. <br/>	 Deciding that you couldn’t spend time with them, you walked out of your room to the training area. You met Sam on the way there, but you didn’t spare him even a look. You didn’t mean to be a bitch or anything like that, but you couldn’t be sure what anybody thought of you, and you persuaded yourself that everybody hated you in the compound, so you didn’t need to keep up the pretence and just let them go about their days as if you didn’t exist. Because you were pretty sure that you didn’t exist to most of the people there, and if you evaporated, nobody would even notice. </p>
<p> Sam stopped in his tracks and watched your stoic face as you passed him, not even a smile, and he frowned to himself. You were one of the friendliest people he’s met in his life, so this was weird, to say the least. But he shook his head, giving you the benefit of the doubt and thought that you were just having a bad day. Still, Sam made a mental note to keep a close eye on you, just to stay on the safe side of things. <br/>—-</p>
<p> Three weeks. It’s been three weeks since you actually talked to anyone more than the usual pleasantries or trying to explain why you couldn’t join training sessions with anybody, or why you couldn’t go on missions. <br/>	 You used all kinds of excuses, from period pain, to headaches, to food poisoning. You were running out of things to say, but you were nowhere near to be close to those people. A few nights ago you went around the cinema room where you saw Bucky, Steve and Sam and some of the lower-ranked agents among which were the two women talking shit about you a few weeks ago, all of them watching something. <br/>	 You just shook your head, but you couldn’t feel any pain anymore. You were void of all feelings, and it was much better this way. Maybe you couldn’t be happy, but at least nobody could hurt you anymore. </p>
<p> What you couldn’t see because you were gone too fast, was the way Bucky behaved the whole night. He’s been anxious ever since you stopped meeting with the team, trying to figure out what was wrong with you, but every time he tried to reach you, you either gave him a curt response about how you hurried somewhere, or FRIDAY wouldn’t let him in your room. <br/>	 He realised one thing. He missed you like crazy. He loved when he felt your body pressed against him, and he had no idea what happened that you suddenly hated to spend any time with the team. And it wasn’t just Bucky that noticed your absence. Everybody else was crazy worried as well, but they tried to give you space. </p>
<p> That night in the cinema room, Bucky and the boys were watching the newest John Wick, just having their usual boys’ night, when suddenly 4 agents walked in, asking if they could join them. And because they didn’t want to seem like jerks, the boys agreed. But when it was the middle of the movie, and the women wouldn’t stop talking and asking stupid questions, Bucky couldn’t stand it anymore. </p>
<p> The only woman he wanted there was you, curled against his side, munching on your popcorn being too engrossed in the movie to even notice that people were talking to you in the room. Bucky always thought you were cute like this, deep in whatever you were doing, not caring what the world thought of you or what anybody said. <br/> 	“Would you just shut up? We’re trying to watch a movie here,” Bucky growled, and the room went suddenly hushed. That was until the girl, Jane, who talked shit about you started taking once again. </p>
<p> “Oh, come on. There are so many better things to do with the night than to watch a movie, wouldn’t you say, Bucky?” She asked smugly, and Bucky turned around to face her, giving her his best death glare.  <br/>	 “It’s a sergeant for you, agent. And if you’re insinuating what I think you are, you better think twice about it. Captain here is your commanding officer and you what, assume the three of us want to have orgies with you or what?” Bucky asked, Jane’s face going blank as she tried to find any excuse. </p>
<p> 	When she couldn’t, she just whispered a quiet sorry and scurried away from the room with her friends hot on her tail. Steve and Sam just gave Bucky amused looks but didn’t say anything. Not that they wanted to sleep with those women, but Bucky was unnecessarily harsh. However, they both knew why. <em>You</em>. <br/>	 So it came as no surprise when Bucky just got up from the couch and without another word ran out of the room. Steve smirked, and Sam just giggled, knowing well where Bucky’s steps would lead him. And that they’d hear all about it the next morning, hopefully. </p>
<p>—-<br/>	 Bucky was determined to get to your room. He knew it was late, but he didn’t care. He needed to talk to you and learn what it was that kept you away from the team. And he just wanted to be with you. The weeks without you were horrible, and the girl in the room moments ago proved to him that he didn’t want anyone else but you. <br/>	 Bucky had a crush on you, but because he thought you only ever saw him as a friend, and that you liked taking care of people, he tried not to think about his own feelings and just enjoyed your closeness. However, distracting it was because he always worried he would slip and tell you exactly how he felt about you.<br/> 	He knocked loudly on your door, waiting for any kind of response. </p>
<p> “Sergeant Barnes, agent Y/L/N doesn’t want to be disturbed so late in the night. Please, leave,” he heard the AI say, and Bucky got even more annoyed. Nope, not today. <br/>	 “Yeah, and I don’t care,” Bucky yelled and started pounding against your door. “Open up, Y/N, we’re going to talk, and we’re going to do that right fucking now. So open the fucking door!” Bucky was yelling, and he knew that people from the other rooms might hear him, but he didn’t give a damn. </p>
<p> The door slowly opened to reveal you, utterly confused and tired standing with your arms crossed over your chest. Bucky couldn’t help himself as his eyes darted towards your sleeping shirt which ended on your mid-thigh, and Bucky’s mouth salivated at the sight of your bare legs. <br/>	 “What do you want, Bucky?” You asked, your face still void of any emotion. </p>
<p> Bucky didn’t say anything just pushed around you to stand in your room, and when you turned around and stepped from the door, he kicked it shut and sat down on your bed. <br/>	 “Bucky, it’s late, whatever this is, can’t it-“ <br/>	 “No, it can’t wait. Why are you avoiding everybody? Why aren’t you spending time with us anymore?” Bucky asked, and even though he didn’t mean to, his voice broke at the end of the question. </p>
<p> You stared at him and then sat down next to him on the bed. <br/>	 “Look, we don’t need to keep pretending, Bucky. I know what you think of me, and I’m giving you an out. You no longer need to pretend to like me for the sake of the team, I understand I’m nothing special. I just don’t want to be clingy anymore,” you whispered, looking at your hands intently, as you wouldn’t dare to look at Bucky.  <br/>	 Bucky was staring at you, for a change, frowning and trying to figure out what the hell you were talking about. But he simply couldn’t.<br/> 	“What? What the fuck are you talking about?” </p>
<p> “I heard you talking to Steve how you can’t stand me around, and how-“ <br/>	 “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I never said anything like that. I said I couldn’t concentrate because you were always there, but I never said I couldn’t stand you around me, Y/N,” he said, trying to make you look up to him. <br/>	 “Yeah, but what’s the difference? Message received loud and clear, don’t worry. You’re not the only one thinking low of me here, so I guess I gotta learn how to live with that,” you shrugged, and Bucky’s had enough. He caught your head between his palms and made you look at him, even if you didn’t want to. </p>
<p> 	“Fuck, Y/N. If you heard the whole conversation, you would know that I told Steve that I couldn’t be around you because I’m fucking in love with you, and your body pressed against mine all the time is just too difficult when I know you don’t feel the same, and I can’t clear my head from thoughts about you when you are next to me all the time. That’s what the conversation was all about. You thought I didn’t want you around me? Well, you’re wrong, because I want nothing more than you, but I know you don’t feel the same,” Bucky mumbled as he let go of your head, and stared at his own hands now. </p>
<p> You tried to contemplate everything Bucky just told you. He was in love with you? No, that was impossible. You were in love with him, not the other way around. <br/> 	“Wh-what? No, that’s impossible. I’m in love with you, and you could never love me back,” you said, still confused at what was happening. </p>
<p> “Is this some kind of a sick joke you’re playing with the other agents who think I look like an animal? Because if so you should just leave and let me be, Bucky. That’s cruel even for you guys,” you mumbled, shaking your head trying to get your thoughts straight. </p>
<p> “I’m not joking, Y/N. I’m dead serious. And what agents are you talking about?” Bucky frowned, wanting to do nothing more than to protect you from any idiot calling you a name. <br/>	 “Doesn’t matter. So, you’re telling me that you’re in love with me? But it makes no sense, I’m not your type, I’m nothing special, and you always flirt with every other agent but me,” you mumbled and wanted to stand up, but Bucky’s hand stopped you. </p>
<p> 	“I was too nervous to show anything because you’re the only one with the ability to actually hurt me by rejecting me. So I always acted as if we were just friends, but I was dying inside, doll. And what do you mean not my type? Since when is dead-gorgeous, smart as hell, and the nicest person on Earth not everybody’s type? You’re perfect, Y/N, and please, never doubt it. You can reject me how you want, but it won’t change the fact you are my sun and that I’ll protect you from anybody and everybody. So tell me, who said you looked like an animal?” </p>
<p> Bucky’s hand was on yours, and you felt a sense of calm washing over you. You looked him in the eyes and knew he wasn’t lying to you. You knew him well enough to be able to tell when he was telling the truth, and his eyes were bright and honest. <br/>	 He didn’t expect you to move so fast, but you were suddenly pressed against his chest, hugging his tightly and sobbing into his shoulder. Bucky woke from his shock soon enough and circled you with his arms, revelling at the feeling of you against him. Finally, he thought to himself, you were where you were supposed to be. </p>
<p> “You’re mine, doll, and I’m not letting you go until you push me away,” Bucky whispered to your ear, and you suddenly felt a surge of confidence in your veins. You inched closer to Bucky and pressed your lips against his. A millisecond of doubt was gone when Bucky reciprocated the kiss, caressing your face in his hands, and seeking your lips even when you tried to breathe in. </p>
<p> “But, I’m not perfect, Bucky. My thighs are too big, and my belly is soft and not all muscly like the rest of the agents. I’m just me,” you said in a way Bucky’s heart broke for you. Whoever made you feel like that deserved a harsh punishment, and Bucky would be glad to deliver it to them. <br/>	 He asked for your permission before he pushed you down on the bed, and hovered over you, kissing you like a man possessed. He needed the kiss to convey all the emotions he’s been hiding for too long, and you were all too happy to receive him. <br/> </p>
<p> His hands were wandering all over your body, but the second he splayed his metal hand on your stomach you jerked away and looked at him apologetically. But he wasn’t having it. Bucky was determined to show you just how much he loved every inch of your body. He wasn’t as sculpted as he used to be, because he suddenly actually ate and was feeling mentally fine, for the first time in years, and his body looked like it. He was also a little worried what you’d say when you saw his stomach wasn’t a six-pack anymore, but there were more important things at hand. He could share his worries with you later. </p>
<p> “Don’t hide from me, doll. I wanna love you, all of you. You are truly perfect, and so what you don’t have a sculpted body? You’re strong and beautiful, and I’m gonna prove it to you if you let me,” Bucky said against your lips and again let his hand rest against your stomach, and he saw you calming a little and giving him a nod that it was ok to continue. <br/>	 He rid you of your sleeping shirt, and he almost came in his pants. You were so damn sexy, splayed underneath him like that, your lips all puffy from his kisses, your cheeks rosy from the way you blushed every time he looked at you. </p>
<p> “You’re the sexiest and most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Y/N. Believe me, when I say that I could come just looking at you, that’s how fucking sexy you are,” Bucky said with a slight growl that made you giggle, and Bucky made it his life’s plan to make you giggle like that all the time, from now one. <br/>	 His hands caressed your skin carefully, the contrast of his flesh and metal hands, creating a new sensation that you never wanted to let go of again. When his mouth traced the routes his hands took on your body, you melted into him, breathing heavily as you enjoyed the way he appreciated every inch of your body. </p>
<p> He stopped between your thighs, and looked back at you, before he pushed your legs wide apart and nibbled at the inner thigh of your right leg, leaving love bites behind him as a proof of his love towards you and your body. He did the same to your left leg, and by the time he got to your core, you were moaning and writhing, trying to get him to where you most needed him. </p>
<p> And Bucky happily obliged. He ate you out like a starved man, growling against your clit, changing between sucking and biting, and it didn’t take long for you to come undone like this. Bucky drank what you had to give before he climbed back up to kiss you again. You didn’t mind tasting yourself on his tongue as it felt even more intimate like this. <br/>	 Bucky undressed with a speed of lightning, and when you took him into your hand, he hissed loudly, closing his eyes for a brief moment. Every touch of yours felt like he went to heaven, and because he wanted to be inside you, he took the hand caressing him and kissing it, before he reached for the condom he took out of his wallet. Even though he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he wasn’t too sure you were ready for children just yet. </p>
<p> He sank inside you with ease, grunting when he was sheeted in you, and you knew he felt the overwhelming need to move, but wanted to let you adjust to his impressive size. <br/>	 When he felt your walls fluttering around him, he took it as his cue and started moving. As much as he wanted to plough you through the mattress, he knew you needed something else, and so did he. You both needed to feel the closeness and intimacy of the act, so Bucky moved accordingly. </p>
<p> His thrusts were slow and deep, making you quiver and shake with the force of your thrusts, gasping for air and praising Bucky as you went. <br/>	 “You’re so good to me, Bucky. You’re perfect. I love you,” you said with your eyes closed, and Bucky’s eyes watered. <br/>	 He kept thrusting and kissed you deeply, taking your breath away. </p>
<p> “I love you too, Y/N. So fucking much,” he whispered and speeded up a little because he could tell you were getting close. <br/>	 And when your nails scratched down his back, and the heels of your feet dug into his bottom, Bucky knew you were second away from your climax. He pushed his hands between your bodies and played with your bundle of nerves until you came undone underneath him, chanting his name as if it was the only word you knew. </p>
<p> Bucky followed soon, unable to take the way your walls squeezed around him, and he emptied himself inside the condom. You were both breathing heavily, but neither of your willing to move. It was only when Bucky started to feel uncomfortable in the rubber that he parted from you, only to throw the thing away and lay down next to you again. </p>
<p> He made sure you were comfortable on top of him before he covered you both with the sheets and pulled you impossibly closer to him. <br/>	 “Next time somebody talks shit about you, you tell me. Nobody gets to talk shit about my girl,” Bucky mumbled against the crown of your head, and you giggled again. <br/>	 “Your girl, huh?” You said teasingly with your eyes closed, enjoying the closeness between the two of you.</p>
<p> <br/>	 “Hell yeah, my girl. My beautiful, sexy girl, might I add. The girl of my dreams, the girl-“</p>
<p> “Alright, Romeo, hold your horses,” you laughed and kissed his chest. “I don’t need you to tell anyone that. I’m just happy we get to be together and that you love me the way I love you,” you said with a smile, and Bucky nuzzles his cheek against your head. <br/>	 This was where you both belonged, and Bucky would make sure it would stay that way. And he’d fight any bitches going against his girl.</p>
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